I'm stuck. I hate that I use Passive Voice so much in my writing. Damn that 60/100!!!

So today was another uneventful day. It turned out pretty much wasted =(
I have a lot of homework.

My hair is falling out rapidly. I don't know whether I should be worried or not. If so, what can be done about it? I still want to perm my hair. My hair is gorgeous. I love my hair.

So I am obsessed with guys. Not even guys, I don't think, but talking about them and such. I wish I had a boyfriend, but I don't wish it that badly. But the way I talk, you'd think I was desperate.

I don't know why I'm always like this. I can act so easily and nobody understands me!! I don't get it -- maybe I don't act half as good as I think so my real feelings don't show through. But I'm willing to bet that it's because I don't even know how I truly feel inside. Like in history class, it's so easy for me to put judgements out of the issue ... and I do this all the time in my own life. Looking from the outside. I know no one will be able to understand this but me.

I hate always having to learn about my friends and their quirks, and they don't seem to give a rat's ass about mine. I try to be as good a friend as I can, and I get their personality, so I know when they're joking or sad or serious. I try, I try.

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So I'd like to say that I really have finally finished all of my summer reading, but that would be a lie and I just don't go that way!!

I did even less work today than ever ...
And I had another dream with him in it again!! It will never stop!! This time, I was checking my email and he just kept replying with "never" typed many times and with spaces and weird formatting ... like:

never never never never nevernever never
never never nevernevernever never never never

etc.

But then I checked my email and it was all good. Haha!! I still can't get over it.

And today, I also unintentionally regained contact with some people ... through AIM and myspace. God, that site is addicting. But yeah, I fully appreciated AIM today ... it's a shame I hated it for a while. And I actually have to upload a pic onto myspace now ... because it's just a way to keep in touch!

But yeah, with the good comes the bad, and that's just that I have a whole bunch of stuff to do and I'm not doing it!!

I still have to write my reflections up for my 17th birthday ... actually I have so much I want to say and I really just wish I'd have some time to sit down and write. All these thoughts flowing through my mind ... driving me crazy!!

I really hope when school starts ... things will be different!!

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mood: ashamed
Well, I'd like to say it's been a very unproductive day ... and school's right around the corner.

And I've had dreams about a guy 2 days in a row. Not good ... at alllllllllll =(
Well, let's see what happened this time: I was talking to him on my cell phone in my bathroom IN ENGLISH and afterwards on my pillow it hit me that I was running low on minutes. Then, it got all anime-ish as some scantily clad girl with blond hair pulled into 2 pigtails appeared near my ceiling and tried to capture the 2 of us from my desk. Somehow he actually appeared right next to me!! Amazing. Then I think we were captured but I was wishing we weren't.

I really hate The Human Web.

And now it's my second day being 17. Missing Japan an awful awful lot, but I hope that everyone I email doesn't get stuck on Japan so that we can actually have a relationship that is not stuck in the past. Actually, I think that's what I fear the most out of everything. Being stuck and not knowing how to move on ...

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mood: red all over
Okay, nuTang is the best. And right now I'm thinking of the time Zack Brady made me listen to music while watching a boy crying at the airport (creating a soundtrack of LIFE). Because I'm looking at my brother while he's sleeping all cocooned up while The Killers's "All These Things That I've Done" is playing.

Okay, so to continue with my post since before I was interrupted in the midst of my email to Bebe, my darling, and then was stuck reading The Human Web, I would like to say that I have some really weird dreams that I wish I didn't have, and that I am really very socially inept.

Also, my mom told me that all my college-bound friends have left already, which actually pisses me the hell off because I really really had to see Jenny (and Hannah) one last time. But I hope they're coming back for winter vacation. Or maybe I could just ... email them. But what if they don't check their email???

And as to all this ... I've tried keeping multiple blogs before and it never works. I don't quite know what to do. What a petty matter and I can't figure it out!!

And I really hate The Human Web. What an awful book, and usually I like history.

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